26th October 2019

Pandemonium Con 2 – Dominic Sherwood Meet & Greet

Michelle tDiE supporting material, The Descent is Easy 0 Comments

Dom Meet & Greet

The room we walk into is set up with four tables forming a square. Michelle points out that she really hopes Dom is going to stand in the middle and perform.

Sadly, Dom doesn’t.

Dom: Hello. Where am I sitting? Wherever I want? Well, I’ll sit right here! How’s everybody doing?

(Affirmative mumbling)

Dom: Great! I see a couple of familiar faces. What does everyone want to talk about? Any questions? (points at ‘one of the familiar faces’) You know how this goes. Have you thought of questions ahead of time? No? Well… maybe at your eighth or ninth convention you’ll figure out the rhythm. Does everyone speak English? Yes? Great! That’s going to make this much easier for me, because I don’t speak any other languages. Does anyone have any questions about Shadowhunters? I can’t answer any Penny Dreadful questions!

Michelle: Literally none?

Dom: I mean, I can tell you I filmed yesterday. I can’t tell you what I did. I can’t tell you who I worked with. Or about the script. I can’t tell you what accent I used. Can’t tell you anything about my costume. Wait… Maybe… No, no I can’t. Can’t tell you anything about the show. I can’t tell you any spoilers. It’s not like Shadowhunters. They WILL fire me. They will legitimately fire me if I give anything away so… Can’t do it! Sorry!

Michelle: Can you tell us whether you had a good time?

Dom: I DID have a good time! Thanks for asking.

Fan: When can we expect some promo or behind the scenes stuff?

Dom: I don’t know! They keep sending me stuff and I ask if I can share it cause it’s really cool and they’re like ‘NO’. So.. Shadowhunters questions! Let’s talk Shadowhunters! Any thoughts? (Silence) Questions? (Silence) No? Nothing at all? Sweet. I’m so glad you’re all here…

Fan: You played three different Jonathans..

Dom: Sure did!

Fan: Who was your favourite to play and how did you get into the different mind sets?

Dom: I just copied what they did. Genuinely, when I had to mimic Will, I spoke to Will and asked him how he did it and he said ‘Just think really dark thoughts’.

Fan: Is it hard?

Dom: Yeah, and as much as possible I try and separate myself as much as I can from the really dark stuff I have to do at work. I mean you will… nope! (bites tongue) You’ll see in Penny Dreadful. We have to do some pretty crazy stuff in Penny Dreadful and separating yourself from it is the safest way of doing that.

Fans come in late from the Luke photo and apologise

Dom: No, don’t worry. Come in. It’s your own time you’re wasting.

Fan: It’s Luke’s fault

Dom: It’s Luke’s fault? Did you have a Meet & Greet with Luke?

Fan: We had photos

Dom: He had photos already? That bastard. Selfish is what it is! Anyway. Anyone else? Oh hang on, the other bit! Who was my favourite to play? I like all of them, except when I had to wear the owl mask. That was a pain in the arse. Complete nightmare. It was hot and it was uncomfortable and I couldn’t smoke in it and it filled up with water. It was really awful. And then at the end, they wouldn’t even let me keep it! I asked if I could have it and they said no and I asked why and they were like ‘erm… in case we want to re-use it?’ And I pointed out that it’s my face! Who else are you going to put it on?

Fan: What were you going to do with it?

Dom: Halloween probably. Scaring my neighbours. I have one that’s really loud at the moment in LA so I could knock on her door and go ‘Hi, how’s it going? I’m your neighbour’ but while wearing the owl face.

**

Michelle: In the zombie apocalypse, what’s your strength, and who’s on your team?

Dom: Nobody is on my team. Teams are stupid in the zombie apocalypse! I had a zombie apocalypse dream yesterday.

Michelle: Did you survive it?

Dom: (scoffs) Of course I did! A friend of mine was in my hotel room and literally in the dream I fed my friend to the zombie and I woke up and I rang her and told her about it and now we’re not speaking. But I don’t care. Come the zombie apocalypse, it’s my family and my friends… not even my friends. Kat knows this. She gets in my way I will shoot her in the back of the head. I’ll leave her for them to eat, but she’s tiny, so that will buy me about 6 seconds. And I told Kat this. I told her to her face. If you think you’re going to slow me down, don’t come to me for help, because I will just end you, and go about my zombie apocalypse life.

Michelle: But what’s your actual skills?

Dom: (offended) What’s my skill? (counts on fingers) Tactics. Intelligence. Weapons – –

Fan interrupts: Throwing people in front of zombies

Dom: All of it. I have three different zombie plans for three different cities in the world. I’ve thought this through. You’re all laughing, but you’re fucking idiots. All medical science is, is keeping people alive after they should have died. The zombie apocalypse is well on the way. It’s going to happen. People have already died and been brought back which makes them zombies. All CPR is, is the creation of zombies. I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE LAUGHING! It’s really serious, okay? It’s a serious thing. Rabies? That’s basically zombies, innit? Alright, come up with plans people! If you take anything away from this weekend, come up with a zombie plan! I have mine.

Fan: My plan is to avoid you, cause you will throw me in front of a zombie

Michelle: Yep, stay away from him

Dom: Stay away from me, definitely

Fan: Do you believe in the T-virus then?

Dom: I don’t think the T-virus is a real thing necessarily but… maybe it is… (long pause) Now I can’t get it out of my head. (to Michelle) Thanks for that! I appreciate it. Next: Shadowhunters questions!

**

Fan: If you could chose yourself an ending, what would it be?

Dom: Damn… We were making jokes, and now I’ve got nothing in my head. I think the way we ended it led to the theory that their story would have continued and I think that’s the perfect ending.

Fan: I think the ending is sweet, but I wanted to know how that continued story would go..?

Dom: In my head – and I was suggesting this from season 1 – is that they just kill Clary off and it would simply be the Jace show. They didn’t like that very much and that’s when they asked me to stop coming to the writers’ room. Whatever. It’s fine. It was a good idea and they ignored me, but that’s fine. So that’s how I would have ended it. Kill off Clary.

Fan: But…

Dom: Can you imagine how much easier Jace’s life would have been if Clary wasn’t about? We actually tallied it up at one point. Over the course of three seasons it’s just under a thousand times that I say ‘Clary no!’, ‘Clary don’t!’, ‘Clary stop!’, and she ignores me and then I die. His life would be much easier, if Clary wasn’t involved. And she’s not here, so I can say whatever I want. Ask her in her Meet & Greet. Ask her what her answer is and tell her that’s what I said.

Fan: But what would happen if Clary hadn’t been a mundane. Would the group still meet her? By fate?

Dom: By fate? This is where we get into the deep questions, on whether fate actually exists.

Fan: You wanted questions, you get questions!

Dom: Yeah. I regret that. Does fate exist? Is it really a thing?

Fan: Zombies are a thing, so fate can be a thing

Dom: Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure how I feel that my destiny is pre-planned and no matter what steps I take, I end up bumping into the same people no matter what. But that’s my opinion, I don’t know what Jace thinks.

**

Fan: What was your favourite scene to film?

Dom: There we go! Nice easy question! It kept changing, but the scene in the bar with Alberto, where he glamours himself as Jace was really fun, because we were given a lot of space to do what we wanted to do with that, which was really nice. But as far as actual filming experience goes, the last scene we filmed, the reception of the wedding, and it was by chance that we filmed this on our last day, and everyone was there. My father had come to visit us and it was a really nice moment. And we had everyone on set, even people that hadn’t been part of the team for years. So that was my favourite experience on set.

**

Fan who arrived late after the Luke photo: I watched Penny Dreadful and the first season was very scary

Dom: Sorry. (everyone laughs) Actually, why am I sorry? I wasn’t in that one!

Fan: How was it for you to enter a new show? And what can you…

Dom interrupts: You guys were late, but I can say very little about Penny Dreadful. All I can say is that it’s a very different story from both Shadowhunters and the original Penny Dreadful.

Fan: Is it scarier?

Dom: I can’t really say… I’m trying to think of anything I can tell you… It’s less supernatural than the original Penny Dreadful. It’s more about the dynamics of 1938 Los Angeles and… No, can’t say that. Close tough! Very close! This is going to be a very tricky day for me. Especially because I can’t remember what’s already been announced and what hasn’t. But the transition has been quite hard, my character is very different from anything I’ve played before and definitely very different to Jace. It’s been hard work and there’s piles of research in my house, and anyone who comes over goes ‘WHAT ARE YOU READING?’ and I tell them to not worry about it, not even look at it, it’s not me, it’s a character I play. But you’ll see… it’s quite early on in the script that you figure out what my character’s place is in this world. And it’s very different from anything I’ve done before.

Fan: I will ask the question that everyone wants to know… How’s Dan?

Dom: AWWWWW. He’s great!

Michelle: And you can answer spoiler free!

Dom: Yes! Spoiler free! He’s great. He’s getting really big. He’s very sweet.

Michelle: What tricks can he do?

Dom: Let me find a video of him! He can sit, and he can lay down, he can stay and shake and his new thing is that he likes to walk himself back to the apartment (plays video for us). At the end of our walks he’ll grab his leash and walk himself back to my door. He’s fantastic! Cat fucking hates him…

(Michelle failed to realise that Dom was talking about Raja the cat, and thought Dom was talking about Kat McNamara hating Dan the dog, so imagine if you will going through the next minutes wondering how Kat could ever hate an innocent puppy and what Dan could have possibly have done to make Kat hate him…)

Dom: He pinned her to the floor the other day. Because all he wants to do is play and he’s getting quite big now. He’s 3 months old and the other day he sat on her. I was in the shower and all I heard was this godawful hissing sound. And I came out and Dan’s looking all innocent and I asked him what was going on before looking down and seeing that Raja is underneath him, swatting at him.

(Raja the cat! Everything makes sense now….)

Dom: But yeah, he’s great. That was a nice question, thank you. He’s… the love of my life. I don’t think I’m ever gonna love again. (pauses) I’m genuinely concerned that’s true. It’s a real issue when I go on dates and I think ‘Why am I here? I have a puppy at home! I want to be with him!’

Michelle: No wonder Raja hates him…

Dom: Yeah, bless her! (starts giggling to himself, remembering a story) We had a fire alarm go off in my building the other day, and I was out with Tessa, Alberto’s girlfriend, and I had this fire alarm alert come up on my phone and I said ‘Oh god, I have to get back to the house and get the dog! I have to rescue Dan!’ and Tessa goes ‘What about Raja?’ and I went ‘Oh yeah… Totally forgot. I should probably grab her as well, shouldn’t I?’

**

Fan: If Shadowhunters was to return, would you come back for it?

Dom: Would I be up for it? (pauses) I think my journey with Shadowhunters is done. I experienced everything that I could and I met some of my absolutely best friends in the world on this show and I think… (trying to lighten the mood) if they try and put me in that mask again, I’d be really upset. I think for me, my Shadowhunters journey is done. Tough I did have a dream the other day, that they did… the series… what’s the books where they’re in LA?

Fan: The Dark Artifices

Dom: That one! I think Jace comes into it every now and again? And I thought that would be really cool, if in 5 years or whatever they did that, and Jace could just come in for an episode and everyone be like ‘Who the fuck are you?’ and he’d be like ‘I’m Jace Herondale’ and they’re all go ‘Oh my god, THE Jace Herondale??’ – that would be cool…

Fan: That’s pretty much what happens in the books

Dom: Good!

Fan: This may not be the most popular opinion, but I’m really glad to hear that you’re moving away from Shadowhunters because I feel that the Shadowhunters fandom is really brutal

Dom: I mean, that can be a lot of fandoms tough, not just Shadowhunters…

Fan: I run an Instagram group of 22000 followers just for you

Dom: WOW!!

Fan: And I think it’s good you’re moving on

Dom: Yeah, it’s quite… poor Paco – the director of Penny Dreadful Paco Cabezas – comes in every morning and goes ‘You have some crazy fans!’ and I’m like ‘I sure do mate. I’m sorry’. Cause he posts photos every now and again, and I haven’t been in any of them yet and he keeps getting comments asking when he’ll post pictures with me in, and I’ve said to him ‘Just say I’m in the picture. Somewhere in the background, in the crowd, up in a window…’ because that will keep people occupied for days, cause they will be looking, they will zoom into every single window on the picture, so I told him to do that, as it’ll keep people off his back for a bit.

This was the last question at which point we were told to get in position for the group photo. Dom, as always, ensured that he wasn’t standing in anyone’s way, encouraged everyone to make sure they could be seen in the picture, to huddle up or move around depending on where they stood, only to then realise that there was no staff in the room to take a picture

Dom: Who’s taking the photo? Did he forget the camera? His one job was to take a photo…

The photographer entered and everyone cheered. Dom reiterated that if you can’t see the camera, the camera cannot see you. After the pictures we all went to get our stuff, Dom thanked us for our time and for being here, wished us a good weekend, telling us we’d have lots of fun this weekend, before we were all called back to re-take the photos, as the photographer messed up the first time. So we dutifully posed again and took more photos, before being released from the room.

——————————

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21st October 2019

Pandemonium Con 2 –Dominic Sherwood Panel

Michelle tDiE supporting material, The Descent is Easy 0 Comments

We missed some of the panel, as we were talking to Kat, so walked into the room halfway through Dominic pondering what he would do when asked to Snog, Marry, Avoid – Clary, Magnus, Izzy

Dom: Well, *I* can’t marry Magnus, because of Alec, but I don’t want to avoid him either. But then I also don’t want to marry Izzy, do I? I’ve already been through that. So yeah, I’ll avoid Izzy! Which is an easy answer, because Emeraude’s not here, so I can say whatever! By the way, this is why you’re not allowed to film as otherwise I’d get texts from Emeraude just saying WHAT!?! – – And then I’d marry Magnus!

Fan dressed as Clary steps up to the microphone

Dom: You’re Clary! That’s amazing!! I remember that dress. That’s fantastic.

Host interrupts to announce VIP photos with Kat

Dom: (threateningly) If any of you move… the convention is over!

Host: Who’s the boss in this room?

Everyone in the audience points at Dom. Host tells them they have to go, anyway. People start to get up and move, while Dom counts the number of people leaving

One, two, three, four, five, six… none of you are my friends anymore. But the people still here… I love you.

Fan tries to ask question, but it’s super loud in the room

Dom: On a serious note though, if any of you have to leave the auditorium at any point, try and keep it quiet, so we can hear the question.

Everyone whoops and cheers

Dom: What did we *just* talk about??

Fan: Do you think Clace deserved better and what ending would you have preferred?

Dom: Do I think they deserve better.. than the incest and death and all of that? Well, yeah…

Dom: And about the ending. I actually think it’s nice. And I will tell you for why. Because they pay me to say that! No, seriously, I think the ending leaves scope for the future of this relationship. The relationship isn’t over and can turn into what it once was and maybe something even more beautiful in the future. The purpose of the ending is that it’s left up to the audience’s interpretation of what they envisage Clace to be in the future, which is a bit of a cop out, but that’s what they did.

Fan: How are you today? Are you happy with where you are in life right now?

Dom: Am I happy with where I am in life right now?? Are you my therapist?

Fan: And also, are you cheering for anyone right now? Any sports?  

Dom: Who’s my soccer team?

Audience: Football team!

Dom: Yes, football, sorry! My football team is Burnley because that’s where my mother is from. Which is great… It’s not!

And am I doing okay in life? Ecunimically am I fine, with where I am? The choices I’ve made over the course of my 29 years on this planet?

…sure! I’ve got a puppy!

Host interrupts again, to ask more people to go to the Kat photograph

Dom: Don’t!

Host: Also this is the last question, I’m sorry. But he’s coming back later.

Dom: (shrugging) Apparently. If I could get a little glance at the schedule at some point, that’d be great… (turns to fan) You good? Yeah? Come up here, come and sit next to me!

Fan comes on stage to ask her question, sits on (wobbly) bar stool

Dom: Try not to fall or I’ll get sued!

Fan: What’s your favourite show on Netflix right now? And have you watched Raising Dion yet?

Dom: I haven’t watched Raising Dion yet, no. (In Dom’s defence, it had come out 12 hours before the con started). Though my favourite show on Netflix…

Audience: Shadowhunters!

Dom: (bemused) We don’t have that on Netflix in the states

Audience: It’s on HULU!!

Dom: (slightly puzzled by now) Yes, yes it is. Anyway… What’s my favourite show on Netflix? The show I last watched is Friends, which I watch a lot when I’m doing housework, so I guess Friends.

Fan: Favourite movie?

Dom: The Avengers.

Dom helps fan off the barstool

Dom: Thank you for sharing the stage with me!

——————————

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7th October 2019

Pandemonium Con 2 – Welcome Panel

Michelle tDiE supporting material, The Descent is Easy 1 Comment

Dom, Luke, Matt, Chai and Nicola are on stage. An intro video is announced. The screen lights up with a loading bar and a metronome starts ticking. Everyone looks at the screen in anticipation. And waits. And waits.

Dom: This is the whole video, by the way… that’s all you’re gonna get.

The loading bar gets closer to the finish, everyone gets excited and Dom points out that the screen says ‘GET READY’. Then the screen goes blank, and we wait. And wait.

Moderator: Best. Video. Ever.

Finally the video starts playing, and everyone cheers.

Dom: (S1 clip) Wow! That was a LONG time ago.

The video finishes and everyone cheers. The moderator points out that there is more to come. There is a very long pause between the end of the video and the start of the title credits for the cast attending, so everyone is a bit confused, but overall very enthusiastic.

Mod: Let’s thank Claudia for that lovely video! Just so you know, Jade is coming. He’s on his way. And Kat, too. They’re both going to be here.

Dom: (shouting) Can we get a microphone over here? I haven’t said anything in almost 6 minutes so… (Matt gives him his microphone)

Dom: Just to be clear – – That was a wonderful video – – If I am ever not first in the video again, I am not coming back!

Mod: Let’s get some games started. We’ve got 3 games. The first one is people that speak different languages writing down a word of your choice, in your language, and the guests will have to guess what they think it means.

Dom: This is going to be dangerous. Not just with you guys writing words, but also with the guesses I’m going to make.

Nicola: Let’s not let Dom go first!

Chai: Anybody speak Thai? It’s just that I speak Thai so…

First fan comes up and writes Heizungsmechaniker. Everyone looks completely blank. Audience is talking amongst themselves while the cast look at the word, mostly because past the third row, no one can read the word on the flipchart.

Dom: (turning to audience) I just heard someone say ‘I think the Germans know’? Like, yeah! It’s IN German! Of course they know. If you don’t speak German no one has ever seen this word ever before.

Luke: Can we have a clue?

The fan pronounces the second word, which gets translated to ‘mechanic’.

Dom: Bike mechanic! Car mechanic! Airplane mechanic!

Nicola: Hei-zungs-mechanic?

Audience helps, and calls out ‘heater’

Nicola: Heatermechanic!

Matt: Okay now… HOLD ON!

Dom: I like that there’s a word in German for specific groups of mechanics that just do heaters.

(chaotic debate about whether this is factual and whether the fans should get points for it or not)

Nicola: It’s an HVAC specialist!

Dom: HVAC specialist? I don’t know what an HVAC is…

Nicola: It’s heating, ventilation, isolation…

Dom: But then that’s not the same thing! If this guy is a heating specialist and he only does heat, I imagine you’ve got this poor guy showing up and someone asking him ‘Can you fix my AC?’ and he’s like ‘Nope’.

Matt: No, it’s everything to do with heat. It’s the removal of heat. It’s the introduction of heat. It’s the process to moderate heat.

Dom: Well then he should be called temperature mechanic, shouldn’t he?

Nicola: Who wants to listen to Matt talk about the history of heating and cooling?

Lots of cheering and half the audience raise their hand.

Dom: Chai, you say something…

Mod goes to find another microphone, so Chai doesn’t have to share with Matt or Nicola. She tries to give it to Chai but Chai is happy without a microphone. She tries again. He waves her away.

Matt: Chai doesn’t want to speak right now.

Mod: Okay, so that’s fans 1, guests 0.

Matt: We’re keeping score??

Dom takes a whiteboard pen out of the holder

Matt: Don’t cheat Dom!

Mod: I think someone needs to explain the game to Matt again…

Second fan comes up and writes båge.

Nicola: Can you pronounce it for us? That might help.

Fan: Sure!

Matt: Use it in a sentence!

Fan uses it in a sentence. Weirdly, it does not help any of the cast to suddenly magically work out what it means.

Matt: The beach! The zoo! It’s ‘I want to go to the zoo!’

Nicola: Handsome? Beautiful?

Matt: I give up!

Dom: We’re gonna need a clue

Fan: It’s a sort of weapon

Dom: Bow and Arrow!

Fan: Yes, it’s a bow.

(cheering)

Dom goes to write his own point on the scoreboard. Mod had previously written 1 – 0 on the board. Dom puts I before the 0, to start a five bar gate system, for ongoing score keeping.

Mod: What’s that?

Dom: I wrote a 1

Mod: With a 0. You put it in front of a 0! (tries to take Dom’s pen away)

Dom: Well you shouldn’t have put a 0. Why did you put a 0? You’re questioning me with numbers.

Mod: Yeah, but…

Dom: What was going to come after the 0? You have to cross it out. Instead of doing essentially this 0, 1 and then add a 0, 1, 2, 3, 4..

Mod: I was going to…

Dom: Rather than using a system that’s been in place since the romance, where you count points like this: IIII  (five bar gate system)

Mod: I feel like…

Dom: No no no. You have your pen. I’m done. (throws the pen over his shoulder)

Mod: Dom, this is my stage!

Dom looks at the board which currently says ‘Fans I – Guests 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, IIII’

Dom: We’ve lost a little traction with the point system here…

Third fan comes on stage. Mod goes to pick up and hand Dom his pen back

Dom: Thanks very much. I appreciate it.

Fan starts writing

Dom: There’s a lot of e’s in this one

Fan pronounces Lieveheersbeestje

Dom: Okay…

Nicola: Living with my best… friend?

Fan gives a lot of help. It’s concluded that it is a type of beetle. They guess Firefly. It’s not that. They continue guessing. Fan keeps helping.  Turns out it’s a ladybug.

Matt: Ooooooh. Well, you have a ridiculous word for ladybug!

Mod: You only get half a point because there were a lot of clues given.

Matt: I like that one

Dom: How are you going to put half a point on the scoreboard?

Mod: You’ll see.

Dom: (to fan, as she is leaving) Thank you for Ladybug

Mod: Okay, we’re moving on. Because we have two more games to play and we’re already running behind schedule.

Matt & Nicola keep asking the fan to pronounce the word for them, so they can repeat it. Someone finally switches on the lights on the stage.

Dom: Oh, thanks for turning the lights on. Just in time! We’ve sat here for an hour in the dark, so thanks!

Mod: Matt, why don’t you say a word in Spanish?

Matt: (deadpan) Amor

Chai: Why do you sound so sad when you’re talking about love?

Mod: So thin this game the audience is going to give us 3 characters, 3 places and 3 objects. And you can chose to tell a story with it, or act one out.

Fan: Shrek

Dom: So Matt, you’re taking that

Matt: I’m the ogre! You can be the ass. (laughter, Dom pouts) It’s just a nice word… for a donkey.

Mod: Next?

Fan: Cup

Mod: What? A cup? As a character? ….Sure. There are no rules to this game.

Mod: Next?

Fan: Spacecowboy

Mod: Okay. 3 places

Fan: Seychelles

Fan: London

Fan: Bathroom

Mod: And 3 objects

Matt: A cup!

Fan: Spoon

Matt: One human.

Fan: Banana

Fan: Handkerchief

Dom: God, you lot were brave with your characters there are the beginning, weren’t you?

Mod: So, you probably want to get up so you can see what you’re doing and as I said, you can act it out or you can tell a story. I’m giving you the choice. You can think about it.

After 30 seconds of silent contemplation…

Matt: I’ve got it! I solved it! It’s a riddle! The answer is…

Nicola: Okay, I’ll start! Shrek was out one day… no hang on! He wasn’t out! He was in! Shrek was eating a banana in the bathroom, because he was pressed for time.

Dom immediately crosses out ‘Shrek’, ‘bathroom’ and ‘banana’. Everyone laughs.

Luke: I’m so confused!

Nicola: He was in a rush to get out the house and he was eating his breakfast in the bathroom. No one else does that?

Luke: And then a massive explosion happened. He was blown to the floor. It was very chaotic. He was very confused. And then a lot of smoke appeared and lots of lights and then… in walked… a space cowboy.

Matt: The space cowboy – – they’re going to hate me for this – – walks over to Shrek (Matt walks up to Dom) and he throws the handkerchief at him and says ‘clean yourself up!’

Dom: Because he’s got banana everywhere!

Matt: And then he loudly says SHELLS.

Laughter trails off as everyone is confused. Dom gets the joke first

Dom: Say-Shells. Nice!

Dom hands microphone to Chai

Dom: Do you want to go?

Chai looks at the board confused, says something to Dom off microphone

Dom: Apparently that’s the thing. The cup is a character, yeah!

Matt: It’s a fucking cup. A living breathing cup. It experiences. It feels. I wants things. It has fears and desires.

Dom: Suddenly… For some reason. Shrek says to the space cowboy…

Audience start screaming, because Kat has arrived and is running up the middle aisle to the stage.

Matt: We’re kind of in the middle of something

Kat goes around and hugs Nicola, Chai and Luke, while Dom and Matt try to finish the story.

Matt: The cup is having an existential crisis, talking about a spoon. Am I just a big spoon?

Kat hugs Matthew around the middle, while he talks, then goes to hug Dom from behind, while he contemplates the board. He pulls a face.

Dom: I think I’ve got it Chai! I think I just figured out the ending to our tale. – – Then, Shrek says to the space cowboy – Pay attention Matt!

Matt: I am

Dom: He says ‘We’ve got to go to London cause that’s where I go to spoon (Scottish Shrek accent) with my friends’ – – Spoon. Cup. London. DONE! Next! What’s next!

They all sit back on their chairs except for Kat who stays standing in the middle of the stage

Kat: What are we doing?

Mod: We’re going to play Two Truth and One Lie. You all come up with two truths and one lie, and they are going to guess which one is the lie. We’re going to start here with you Chai.

Chai: All of us?

Mod: Yes, each of you. Think of something now. You can say whatever you want. I could say I have one leg, so that might not be the best one to choose. Whenever you’re ready. If someone else is ready, you can go for it.

Matt: So you just want me to make things up? You want me to make up three things…

Nicola: The rules are in the title

Matt: Yes. So I’m going to tell three lies

Nicola: Wow.. it’s hard to be put on the spot and think about yourself.

Matt: Oh! About yourself?

Mod: If you want, you can do it about someone else. You can tell two truths and a lie about Chai if you want.

Matt: Okay! Chai… is… a…

Nicola: It can’t be about Chai!

Matt: It has to be about me? Matt.. is… concerned…

Dom: That one’s the lie. I can tell already!

Matt: Matt is concerned about… Dom and…

Dom: Just wait, because It’s going to get meanreal soon…

Matt: Matt is concerned about Kat. Matt is concerned about Chai.

Kat: I’m going to say I hope you’re not concerned about me.

Nicola: Two are true. One is a lie.

Luke: You’re not concerned about Chai. You’re concerned about Dom and Kat.

Chai: No no no, he’s concerned about me.

Matt: Wait, it’s three lies! Three truths! (laughter)

Nicola: We’re not meant to guess. They are meant to guess. Which one’s the lie?

Matt: Ah man, now I’m concerned about all of them. Somebody else go…

Mod: Okay, one of you others do it, because we’re running out of time.

Luke: Okay. I studied ballet dancing for 7 years and and an injury made me stop. I have 5 middle names. When I was born I had bright red hair.

Everyone ooooohs in amazement.

Kat: I actually know this one.

Audience is mostly torn between 5 middle names and bright red hair. Everyone is shouting and it’s chaos.

Matt: If you think bright red hair, raise your hands!

Kat: If you think middle names, raise your hands!

Matt: Middle names is the obvious winner. Luke, is it true, or is it a lie?

Luke: The lie… is ballet dancing.

Kat: Tell them your middle names…

Luke: No I won’t! They’ll have to work for that.

Dom: Dude! They’re spending a fortune to be here, tell them..

Luke: (at the speed of light) Luke, Joseph, Anthony, Philip (something, something) Baines

Dom and Luke realise that they share a middle name, and high five each other.

Kat: I speak three languages. I didn’t wear heels until I was 14. I am terrible at directions.

Audience are asked to vote, however half the audience is putting their hand up, if they agree with the statement, so almost everyone raises their hand to say that yes, Kat is terrible at directions but also that she did wear heels before she was 14.

Matt: Are we voting for what is true or false?  

Luke: We’re going to start again!

Matt: Okay, if you think the first one is the lie, raise your hand

Almost the entire panel room raises their hand.

Kat: That’s correct. I don’t speak three languages.

Mod: We’re almost out of time, so we’re going to get you to draw our raffle prizes…

Which they did, which led to four very happy fans who won extras, and a highly amused Matt, as he drew the a lady whose last name was ‘Van Damme’. It’s the small things in life that make you happy…

And that was the end of the Welcome Panel.

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