We missed some of the panel, as we were talking to Kat, so walked into the room halfway through Dominic pondering what he would do when asked to Snog, Marry, Avoid – Clary, Magnus, Izzy
Dom: Well, *I* can’t marry Magnus, because of Alec, but I
don’t want to avoid him either. But then I also don’t want to marry Izzy, do I?
I’ve already been through that. So yeah, I’ll avoid Izzy! Which is an easy
answer, because Emeraude’s not here, so I can say whatever! By the way, this is
why you’re not allowed to film as otherwise I’d get texts from Emeraude just
saying WHAT!?! – – And then I’d marry Magnus!
Fan dressed as Clary steps up to the microphone
Dom: You’re Clary! That’s amazing!! I remember that dress.
That’s fantastic.
Host interrupts to announce VIP photos with Kat
Dom: (threateningly) If any of you move… the convention is
over!
Host: Who’s the boss in this room?
Everyone in the audience points at Dom. Host tells them they have to go, anyway. People start to get up and move, while Dom counts the number of people leaving
One, two, three, four, five, six… none of you are my friends anymore. But the people still here… I love you.
Fan tries to ask question, but it’s super loud in the room
Dom: On a serious note though, if any of you have to leave
the auditorium at any point, try and keep it quiet, so we can hear the
question.
Everyone whoops and cheers
Dom: What did we *just* talk about??
Fan: Do you think
Clace deserved better and what ending would you have preferred?
Dom: Do I think they deserve better.. than the incest and death and all of that? Well, yeah…
Dom: And about the ending. I actually think it’s nice. And I will tell you for why. Because they pay me to say that! No, seriously, I think the ending leaves scope for the future of this relationship. The relationship isn’t over and can turn into what it once was and maybe something even more beautiful in the future. The purpose of the ending is that it’s left up to the audience’s interpretation of what they envisage Clace to be in the future, which is a bit of a cop out, but that’s what they did.
Fan: How are you
today? Are you happy with where you are in life right now?
Dom: Am I happy with where I am in life right now?? Are you my therapist?
Fan: And also, are
you cheering for anyone right now? Any sports?
Dom: Who’s my soccer team?
Audience: Football team!
Dom: Yes, football, sorry! My
football team is Burnley because that’s where my mother is from. Which is great…
It’s not!
And am I doing okay in life? Ecunimically
am I fine, with where I am? The choices I’ve made over the course of my 29
years on this planet?
…sure! I’ve got a puppy!
Host interrupts again, to ask more people to go to the Kat photograph
Dom: Don’t!
Host: Also this is the last
question, I’m sorry. But he’s coming back later.
Dom: (shrugging) Apparently. If I
could get a little glance at the schedule at some point, that’d be great…
(turns to fan) You good? Yeah? Come up here, come and sit next to me!
Fan comes on stage to ask her question, sits on (wobbly) bar stool
Dom: Try not to fall or I’ll get sued!
Fan: What’s your favourite show on
Netflix right now? And have you watched Raising Dion yet?
Dom: I haven’t watched Raising Dion yet, no. (In Dom’s defence, it had come out 12 hours before the con started). Though my favourite show on Netflix…
Audience: Shadowhunters!
Dom: (bemused) We don’t have that
on Netflix in the states
Audience: It’s on HULU!!
Dom: (slightly puzzled by now) Yes, yes it is. Anyway… What’s my favourite show on Netflix? The show I last watched is Friends, which I watch a lot when I’m doing housework, so I guess Friends.
Join us, as we discuss Season 1, Episode 7, The Gates of Avalon. An Episode that sadly does not stand up to close scrutiny, and we are left with many questions about… 90% of our characters.
We are discussing chapter 10 to 12 of City of Fallen Angels, as well as a whole range of random topics that have absolutely nothing to do with the book, including Casper the Friendly Ghost and bras and how easy or hard it is to undo them.
Join us in reading the fourth book in The Mortal Instruments series, over 7 episodes, posted every other week.
Our Patreon page is here. Join us now to gain access to our discord chat, full of lovely awesome people talking Shadowhunters, as well as a whole bunch of other cool stuff.
We have attended and survived PanCon 2019. Join us in the madness!
Our Patreon page is here. Join us now to gain access to our discord chat, full of lovely awesome people talking Shadowhunters, as well as a whole bunch of other cool stuff.
Dom, Luke, Matt, Chai and Nicola are on stage. An intro video is announced. The screen lights up with a loading bar and a metronome starts ticking. Everyone looks at the screen in anticipation. And waits. And waits.
Dom: This is the whole video, by the way… that’s all you’re gonna get.
The loading bar gets closer to the finish, everyone gets excited and Dom points out that the screen says ‘GET READY’. Then the screen goes blank, and we wait. And wait.
Moderator: Best. Video. Ever.
Finally the video starts playing, and everyone cheers.
Dom: (S1 clip) Wow! That was a LONG time ago.
The video finishes and everyone cheers. The moderator points out that there is more to come. There is a very long pause between the end of the video and the start of the title credits for the cast attending, so everyone is a bit confused, but overall very enthusiastic.
Mod: Let’s thank Claudia for that lovely video! Just so you
know, Jade is coming. He’s on his way. And Kat, too. They’re both going to be
here.
Dom: (shouting) Can we get a microphone over here? I haven’t said anything in almost 6 minutes so… (Matt gives him his microphone)
Dom: Just to be clear – – That was a wonderful video – – If I am ever not first in the video again, I am not coming back!
Mod: Let’s get some games started. We’ve got 3 games. The
first one is people that speak different languages writing down a word of your
choice, in your language, and the guests will have to guess what they think it
means.
Dom: This is going to be dangerous. Not just with you guys writing words, but also with the guesses I’m going to make.
Nicola: Let’s not let Dom go first!
Chai: Anybody speak Thai? It’s just that I speak Thai so…
First fan comes up and writes Heizungsmechaniker. Everyone looks completely blank. Audience is talking amongst themselves while the cast look at the word, mostly because past the third row, no one can read the word on the flipchart.
Dom: (turning to audience) I just heard someone say ‘I think the Germans know’? Like, yeah! It’s IN German! Of course they know. If you don’t speak German no one has ever seen this word ever before.
Luke: Can we have a clue?
The fan pronounces
the second word, which gets translated to ‘mechanic’.
Dom: Bike mechanic! Car mechanic! Airplane mechanic!
Nicola: Hei-zungs-mechanic?
Audience helps, and
calls out ‘heater’
Nicola: Heatermechanic!
Matt: Okay now… HOLD ON!
Dom: I like that there’s a word in German for specific groups of mechanics that just do heaters.
(chaotic debate about
whether this is factual and whether the fans should get points for it or not)
Nicola: It’s an HVAC specialist!
Dom: HVAC specialist? I don’t know what an HVAC is…
Nicola: It’s heating, ventilation, isolation…
Dom: But then that’s not the same thing! If this guy is a heating specialist and he only does heat, I imagine you’ve got this poor guy showing up and someone asking him ‘Can you fix my AC?’ and he’s like ‘Nope’.
Matt: No, it’s everything to do with heat. It’s the removal of heat. It’s the introduction of heat. It’s the process to moderate heat.
Dom: Well then he should be called temperature mechanic,
shouldn’t he?
Nicola: Who wants to listen to Matt talk about the history of heating and cooling?
Lots of cheering and half the audience raise their hand.
Dom: Chai, you say something…
Mod goes to find another microphone, so Chai doesn’t have to share with Matt or Nicola. She tries to give it to Chai but Chai is happy without a microphone. She tries again. He waves her away.
Matt: Chai doesn’t want to speak right now.
Mod: Okay, so that’s fans 1, guests 0.
Matt: We’re keeping score??
Dom takes a
whiteboard pen out of the holder
Matt: Don’t cheat Dom!
Mod: I think someone needs to explain the game to Matt again…
Second fan comes up and writes båge.
Nicola: Can you pronounce it for us? That might help.
Fan: Sure!
Matt: Use it in a sentence!
Fan uses it in a sentence. Weirdly, it does not help any of the cast to suddenly magically work out what it means.
Matt: The beach! The zoo! It’s ‘I want to go to the zoo!’
Nicola: Handsome? Beautiful?
Matt: I give up!
Dom: We’re gonna need a clue
Fan: It’s a sort of weapon
Dom: Bow and Arrow!
Fan: Yes, it’s a bow.
(cheering)
Dom goes to write his own point on the scoreboard. Mod had previously written 1 – 0 on the board. Dom puts I before the 0, to start a five bar gate system, for ongoing score keeping.
Mod: What’s that?
Dom: I wrote a 1
Mod: With a 0. You put it in front of a 0! (tries to take Dom’s pen away)
Dom: Well you shouldn’t have put a 0. Why did you put a 0?
You’re questioning me with numbers.
Mod: Yeah, but…
Dom: What was going to come after the 0? You have to cross
it out. Instead of doing essentially this 0, 1 and then add a 0, 1, 2, 3, 4..
Mod: I was going to…
Dom: Rather than using a system that’s been in place since the
romance, where you count points like this: IIII (five bar gate system)
Mod: I feel like…
Dom: No no no. You have your pen. I’m done. (throws the pen over his shoulder)
Mod: Dom, this is my stage!
Dom looks at the board
which currently says ‘Fans I – Guests 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, IIII’
Dom: We’ve lost a little traction with the point system here…
Third fan comes on
stage. Mod goes to pick up and hand Dom his pen back
Dom: Thanks very much. I appreciate it.
Fan starts writing
Dom: There’s a lot of e’s in this one
Fan pronounces Lieveheersbeestje
Dom: Okay…
Nicola: Living with my best… friend?
Fan gives a lot of
help. It’s concluded that it is a type of beetle. They guess Firefly. It’s not
that. They continue guessing. Fan keeps helping. Turns out it’s a ladybug.
Matt: Ooooooh. Well, you have a ridiculous word for ladybug!
Mod: You only get half a point because there were a lot of clues given.
Matt: I like that one
Dom: How are you going to put half a point on the scoreboard?
Mod: You’ll see.
Dom: (to fan, as she is leaving) Thank you for Ladybug
Mod: Okay, we’re moving on. Because we have two more games to play and we’re already running behind schedule.
Matt & Nicola keep asking the fan to pronounce the word for them, so they can repeat it. Someone finally switches on the lights on the stage.
Dom: Oh, thanks for turning the lights on. Just in time! We’ve
sat here for an hour in the dark, so thanks!
Mod: Matt, why don’t you say a word in Spanish?
Matt: (deadpan) Amor
Chai: Why do you sound so sad when you’re talking about
love?
Mod: So thin this game the audience is going to give us 3 characters, 3 places and 3 objects. And you can chose to tell a story with it, or act one out.
Fan: Shrek
Dom: So Matt, you’re taking that
Matt: I’m the ogre! You can be the ass. (laughter, Dom
pouts) It’s just a nice word… for a donkey.
Mod: Next?
Fan: Cup
Mod: What? A cup? As a character? ….Sure. There are no rules to this game.
Mod: Next?
Fan: Spacecowboy
Mod: Okay. 3 places
Fan: Seychelles
Fan: London
Fan: Bathroom
Mod: And 3 objects
Matt: A cup!
Fan: Spoon
Matt: One human.
Fan: Banana
Fan: Handkerchief
Dom: God, you lot were brave with your characters there are the beginning, weren’t you?
Mod: So, you probably want to get up so you can see what you’re doing and as I said, you can act it out or you can tell a story. I’m giving you the choice. You can think about it.
After 30 seconds of silent contemplation…
Matt: I’ve got it! I solved it! It’s a riddle! The answer is…
Nicola: Okay, I’ll start! Shrek was out one day… no hang on! He wasn’t out! He was in! Shrek was eating a banana in the bathroom, because he was pressed for time.
Dom immediately crosses out ‘Shrek’, ‘bathroom’ and ‘banana’. Everyone laughs.
Luke: I’m so confused!
Nicola: He was in a rush to get out the house and he was
eating his breakfast in the bathroom. No one else does that?
Luke: And then a massive explosion happened. He was blown to the floor. It was very chaotic. He was very confused. And then a lot of smoke appeared and lots of lights and then… in walked… a space cowboy.
Matt: The space cowboy – – they’re going to hate me for this – – walks over to Shrek (Matt walks up to Dom) and he throws the handkerchief at him and says ‘clean yourself up!’
Dom: Because he’s got banana everywhere!
Matt: And then he loudly says SHELLS.
Laughter trails off as everyone is confused. Dom gets the joke first
Dom: Say-Shells. Nice!
Dom hands microphone to Chai
Dom: Do you want to go?
Chai looks at the
board confused, says something to Dom off microphone
Dom: Apparently that’s the thing. The cup is a character,
yeah!
Matt: It’s a fucking cup. A living breathing cup. It experiences. It feels. I wants things. It has fears and desires.
Dom: Suddenly… For some reason. Shrek says to the space
cowboy…
Audience start screaming, because Kat has arrived and is running up the middle aisle to the stage.
Matt: We’re kind of in the middle of something
Kat goes around and hugs Nicola, Chai and Luke, while Dom and Matt try to finish the story.
Matt: The cup is having an existential crisis, talking about a spoon. Am I just a big spoon?
Kat hugs Matthew around the middle, while he talks, then goes to hug Dom from behind, while he contemplates the board. He pulls a face.
Dom: I think I’ve got it Chai! I think I just figured out the ending to our tale. – – Then, Shrek says to the space cowboy – Pay attention Matt!
Matt: I am
Dom: He says ‘We’ve got to go to London cause that’s where I
go to spoon (Scottish Shrek accent) with my friends’ – – Spoon. Cup. London.
DONE! Next! What’s next!
They all sit back on their chairs except for Kat who stays standing in the middle of the stage
Kat: What are we doing?
Mod: We’re going to play Two Truth and One Lie. You all come up with two truths and one lie, and they are going to guess which one is the lie. We’re going to start here with you Chai.
Chai: All of us?
Mod: Yes, each of you. Think of something now. You can say whatever you want. I could say I have one leg, so that might not be the best one to choose. Whenever you’re ready. If someone else is ready, you can go for it.
Matt: So you just want me to make things up? You want me to make up three things…
Nicola: The rules are in the title
Matt: Yes. So I’m going to tell three lies
Nicola: Wow.. it’s hard to be put on the spot and think about yourself.
Matt: Oh! About yourself?
Mod: If you want, you can do it about someone else. You can
tell two truths and a lie about Chai if you want.
Matt: Okay! Chai… is… a…
Nicola: It can’t be about Chai!
Matt: It has to be about me? Matt.. is… concerned…
Dom: That one’s the lie. I can tell already!
Matt: Matt is concerned about… Dom and…
Dom: Just wait, because It’s going to get meanreal soon…
Matt: Matt is concerned about Kat. Matt is concerned about
Chai.
Kat: I’m going to say I hope you’re not concerned about me.
Nicola: Two are true. One is a lie.
Luke: You’re not concerned about Chai. You’re concerned
about Dom and Kat.
Chai: No no no, he’s concerned about me.
Matt: Wait, it’s three lies! Three truths! (laughter)
Nicola: We’re not meant to guess. They are meant to guess. Which one’s the lie?
Matt: Ah man, now I’m concerned about all of them. Somebody
else go…
Mod: Okay, one of you others do it, because we’re running
out of time.
Luke: Okay. I studied ballet dancing for 7 years and and an injury made me stop. I have 5 middle names. When I was born I had bright red hair.
Everyone ooooohs in amazement.
Kat: I actually know this one.
Audience is mostly torn between 5 middle names and bright red hair. Everyone is shouting and it’s chaos.
Matt: If you think bright red hair, raise your hands!
Kat: If you think middle names, raise your hands!
Matt: Middle names is the obvious winner. Luke, is it true,
or is it a lie?
Luke: The lie… is ballet dancing.
Kat: Tell them your middle names…
Luke: No I won’t! They’ll have to work for that.
Dom: Dude! They’re spending a fortune to be here, tell them..
Luke: (at the speed of light) Luke, Joseph, Anthony, Philip (something, something) Baines
Dom and Luke realise that they share a middle name, and high five each other.
Kat: I speak three languages. I didn’t wear heels until I
was 14. I am terrible at directions.
Audience are asked to vote, however half the audience is putting their hand up, if they agree with the statement, so almost everyone raises their hand to say that yes, Kat is terrible at directions but also that she did wear heels before she was 14.
Matt: Are we voting for what is true or false?
Luke: We’re going to start again!
Matt: Okay, if you think the first one is the lie, raise
your hand
Almost the entire panel room raises their hand.
Kat: That’s correct. I don’t speak three languages.
Mod: We’re almost out of time, so we’re going to get you to draw our raffle prizes…
Which they did, which led to four very happy fans who won extras, and a highly amused Matt, as he drew the a lady whose last name was ‘Van Damme’. It’s the small things in life that make you happy…
Our Patreon page is here. Join us now to gain access to our discord chat, full of lovely awesome people talking Shadowhunters, as well as a whole bunch of other cool stuff.
We are reading chapter 4 – 6 of City of Fallen Angels. Join us in reading the fourth book in The Mortal Instruments series, over 7 episodes, posted every other week.
Our Patreon page is here. Join us now to gain access to our discord chat, full of lovely awesome people talking Shadowhunters, as well as a whole bunch of other cool stuff.
